two
I met Su Can outside the Labrang Monastery in Gannan
I had just opened my mouth to ask when suddenly my arm was forcefully pulled back by someone. Someone threw five yuan onto the fortune-telling table, and a light voice echoed in my ears: "Don't believe her, she is a fraud"
Before going to Gannan, I spent a full seven days in Dunhuang, showing the only photograph left with me by Xia Zhi to all the staff at the Mogao Caves. However, they uniformly shook their heads, stating that they had never seen the person in the photograph. I urged them to think again, to reconsider, saying that he was an artist, always carrying his sketchbook with him. Each shake of their heads chilled my heart a little more, until it gradually turned into despair.
I lowered my head and did not respond. I felt that she was a bit abrupt.
After my body recovered, I sat side by side with Su Can on a hill at the Sokzang Temple, watching the sunset over the first bend of the Yellow River. In that beautiful and magnificent silence, I gently turned my head and asked her, "Why are you so kind to me? We have only just met."
Yes, it is we who voluntarily approached her, no one forced us. I do not know why Su Can is so angry, but I believe it is certainly not just because that woman said the same thing to both of us in succession. It is likely that it struck at the most genuine thoughts deep in her heart, which is why she became furious out of shame. However, I did not voice this question, after all, it is only the first time I have met her
I was taken aback and did not say that I wanted to have my fortune told. She continued to look up at me with a slight smile and made a gesture inviting me to proceed. I extended my hand, drew a card from the center of the spread, handed it to her, and began to feel inexplicably nervous, anxiously awaiting the interpretation.
July is the most beautiful season in Gannan, with fields of blooming rapeseed flowers adorning the vast Tibetan region in a bright golden hue. However, I find myself completely devoid of the spirit to smile at this beautiful scenery. The journey westward has left me utterly exhausted from the sweltering heat and the fatigue of travel, and my trip to Dunhuang has not led me to the person I was seeking, leaving my heart filled with disappointment.
The person who took me away is Su Can
I stayed at that small inn for five days. After leaving Dunhuang, I originally intended to visit Labrang Monastery, to see the sunset over the meandering Yellow River, and then return home. Unfortunately, on the second day of my stay, I fell ill. Having been out for nearly a month, with unsatisfactory meals and restless nights, my already fragile digestive system finally collapsed, leading to vomiting, diarrhea, and physical exhaustion. Despite the sweltering heat, I was drenched in cold sweat.
Upon exiting Labrang Monastery, I went in search of a hotel to settle down. After turning a few streets, I spotted that Gypsy woman among a row of vendors selling small handicrafts. She was dressed in layers of traditional Bohemian skirts, quietly sitting behind a divination table. The blazing sunlight beat down on her face, yet she seemed completely unaffected by the heat, her expression calm. As I approached, she smiled slightly and greeted me in halting Chinese: "Hello, please draw a card."
I am just curious! Moreover, isn't she a gypsy? Yet she speaks in the language of our Buddhist teachings! This fraud!" She paused for a moment and suddenly asked me softly, "What were you thinking about when you drew the cards?"
In the middle of the night, I suddenly woke up and saw her curled up in the chair, having fallen asleep. The ashtray on the table was filled with many burnt-out cigarette butts. The corners of my eyes involuntarily became slightly moist. What have I done to deserve this? In a foreign land, I encountered such a kind woman, who, though a stranger, took such meticulous care of me.
Upon arriving at Labrang Monastery in the afternoon, the sunlight on the plateau was intense, and the strong ultraviolet rays had sunburned my cheeks, leaving them with a distinct highland flush. My lips were cracked, and my entire face felt as if it were being forcibly stretched by someone's hand, causing an unbearable discomfort. I covered my face with a silk scarf and followed a group of devout Tibetan people, circling the prayer wheels in the long corridor, turning round and round. During the long and silent 70 minutes, the emotional fluctuations and turmoil I had experienced in recent days found a rare tranquility. I covered my face with a silk scarf and followed a group of devout Tibetan people, circling the prayer wheels in the long corridor, turning round and round. During the long and silent 70 minutes, the emotional fluctuations and turmoil I had experienced in recent days found a rare tranquility.
If it weren't for Su Can being there, I wouldn't know if I could endure until I got home. She gave up her original itinerary and took care of me for two days and two nights.
She did not look at me, her eyes gazing ahead, and said: "I don't know, I just do whatever comes to mind, why question it so much?" Suddenly, she tilted her head and winked at me: "Perhaps it is fate, think about it, with so many cards, we just happened to draw the same one, even the divination phrases are identical"
"Sheng Ximan," I said
Without waiting for my response, she said: "I specifically squatted beside to wait for the next person to draw a card, and sure enough! She said the same thing. Don't believe me? Let's go back there now, and when the next card drawer appears, I bet she will definitely use the same words to deceive!" As she spoke, she extinguished her cigarette and stood up, ready to pull me away. I held her hand and said, "Forget it, it was our choice."
I often think that the encounters between people are truly marvelous; you can never predict who you will meet in the next moment or what stories will unfold, and how your life trajectory will change as a result. It was as if at that time I believed my relationship with Su Can would only extend to traveling together, staying in the same hotel, going to Labrang Monastery to bask in the sun, watching the lamas do their work, ... observing the devout Tibetan people endlessly turning the prayer wheels ... . It was as if at that time I believed my relationship with Su Can would only extend to traveling together, staying in the same hotel, going to Labrang Monastery to bask in the sun, watching the lamas do their work, ... observing the devout Tibetan people endlessly turning the prayer wheels ... . ... and then returning to our respective places. But the hand of fate merely took a brief nap, and our paths began to diverge.
After leaving Dunhuang, I took a detour to Gannan
She is actually not very happy
In a fleeting moment, I caught a glimpse of the faint scars on her left wrist, concealed beneath several strands of beads. Just a single glance was enough to startle me. It was not that I could not see; even when she smiled, she could not hide the pervasive and profound sense of loneliness.
Dunhuang is my last hope. Xiashi once said that his greatest dream was to enter the Mogao Caves and copy those murals that left him in awe. I remember I laughed at him for being unrealistic back then, as those murals are now precious cultural heritage, how could they possibly be casually copied by anyone
She took me to the small inn where she lived, and we sat on the rooftop of the inn. As she exhaled smoke rings, she said indignantly: "Did she tell you not to force it, not to be stubborn, that fate is predetermined, is that what she said?"
Cough, let's not talk about that anymore. I truly admire your courage; at 17, you dare to roam around alone. My 17..." Su Can did not continue, lighting another cigarette. I noticed she smoked heavily, inhaling with great force. A 23-year-old girl, time must have left some stories on her. I do not know what grand sorrows and concerns she harbors that require her to numb herself with tobacco, seeking peace within.
Fortunately, she did not continue to inquire further, and turned to me with a smile, saying: "My name is Su Can. Su from Suzhou, Can meaning brilliant. What about you?"
After a moment, she looked up at me with a complex expression and then uttered a profound and enigmatic statement. "Little girl, fate and separation are predestined in the dark. Do not force it, do not cling to it. Only by letting go can one find happiness"